Can we say bummed?

I got a message on Facebook earlier from my aunt. She was telling me that my other aunt was in the hospital and it wasn't looking good. At 6:30, she called me and let me know that my cousin had just called her and told her that Aunt Bessie had passed away. My heart is so heavy. I know that there is a time appointed for everything (it's in Ecclesiates) and I know God has all our days planned. But still...it sucks. A little background...these are technically my great aunts (my grandmother's sister and sister-in-law) since my mom is an only child. My grandma (Ma) is one of 6. Wilma, Louise, Frank, Ma, Bessie, and Jimmy. Ma was 11 years old when my great-grandmother passed and my Uncle Jimmy was 9 months old. My aunts Wilma and Louise had passed away before I was born. Uncle Frank died in 1986 I think. Uncle Jimmy - August of 2009 and now Aunt Bessie.


12 days ago, my aunt Bessie's granddaughter was murdered. Yep, you read that right. Murdered. By her husband....her correction officer husband. She was 28 years old. Now, my cousin Jackie is not only still grieving the loss of his daughter, but the loss of his mom. :o(

So, needless to say this isn't my typical post. Hopefully the next one will be better.

Testing Signature....

Ch-ch-ch-changes....

As you can probably tell by now, the blog has a new look. I needed a new look for spring. I found this new place called Shabby Blogs. I found it on another blog I was reading. They have really cute stuff! And it's F-R-E-E! Gotta love free! I tried out a few new looks before I chose this one. Hope you like it...and if you don't...well, :oP

It's been cool the past few days...I got used to the 80+ degree weather so this is not a nice change. It is really nice with the sunshine though. I love riding with the windows down....until a bug flies in the window then I'm out!

I can't wait until Saturday! My mom, sister, & I are going to First Baptist to watch Beth Moore's simulcast from Atlanta. The topic? "So Long Insecurity....you've been a bad friend" YES!! I so need that. I am terribly insecure. I may not show it all the time (I've been told I put on a good front), but I am a constant worrier about stuff. I have the need to fit in (don't we all?) but I won't put myself out there most of the time because I will talk myself down. Most of the time I don't feel like I belong and so that stops me from doing things that sometimes I really, really want to do. You know....I'm 33 years old. If I want to do something, I should be able to right? RIGHT? Nope, not me.

I'm sure someone out there can identify. I always talk myself out of stuff "you aren't thin enough...you don't have enough money...you don't have your own house....you aren't close enough to God...you don't dress well enough....and it goes on and on and on." I'd like to say that I've created these situations in my head and that they don't really exist. Probably the one that is truly "me created" is the one about God. No, no one has come straight out and said any of those things to me. If they did, I probably would never go out of the house again.

I know that not everyone is like me...I'm a bit of an odd duck. One of my spiritual gifts is hospitality. I want to make sure everyone feels welcome and at ease. I think that's part spiritual gift and part just being Southern (ha!). I, however, do not always feel welcome. Even with people that I have been around for years...I feel like the odd man out. Maybe I need to step out of my box more...maybe I need to put myself out there more. To be honest, I will only go so far before my feelings get hurt and I shrink back to my little corner of the world.

Come on...I know I'm not the only one. *crickets chirping* Uh....hello?

The truth...

I love blogs and to blog. I keep finding more to add to my favorites list. I love reading what other people are having to say. I have cried, laughed, cried some more, been inspired, etc. by blogs. The neat thing I have found with blogspot is you can hit "next blog" and be taken to a totally random blog. I've skimmed over some of those, but my favorite thing is getting to someone's blog I know and choosing one of those to read.

I strongly encourage anyone to blog. I find it rather therapeutic and sometimes it's that listening ear you need. No, you may not get a response from anyone but the thing is you have it out there if someone wants to respond. I admit I usually don't comment on people's blogs. I'm a reader mostly....

Ok, onto other things...

Bug, Hubs, & I went to the big city today. Mufreesboro. Lifeway Christian Stores & 94.1fm the Fish were having a fun day. Bob the Tomato, Larry the Cucumber, Doug from 94.1, and the Chik-Fil-A Cow were there. Leah loved Bob & Larry, but wasn't too sure about the cow. I kinda think it's because the only cow she has ever seen has been on 4 legs and in a pasture. I think the CFA cow kinda threw her LOL. Here are some pics from the day....

It's not very often that it's just the 3 of us that go somewhere. We try to include grandparents whenever we can, but today we decided to just make it a day for us. We definately need more of these.

The world looks mighty good to me....

I love Spring (like I said in an earlier post - allergies not included!). I love everything blooming and coming to life after a winter slumber. I love flowers-especially wildflowers. I love the smell of people grilling. I love riding around with the windows down and the music up. I'm not a real girly girl so if my hair gets messed up it's not going to do me in. I'll just deal with it.

I started going to the tanning bed Monday. I know, I know it's not really good for you but it's almost therapeutic for me. I felt so much better after going on Monday. I think it's the artificial light...really helps. Plus - tan fat is better than white fat - just sayin'.

I was up until after 12 last night trying to read all I wanted to on Facebook. Today was a long day. My eyes are getting heavy, so I suppose I'll get off of here. **YAWN** Night!

Here comes Peter Cottontail....

Easter has come and gone. We had a great weekend. I got off work early Friday, went to get Leah, and we headed to Wal-Mart. Chaos! I really didn't think it would be that busy on a Friday afternoon at 3 p.m. but it was. We got what we needed (including a Smithfield ham!) and headed out. We didn't go to the Tenebrae Service Friday night. Our Tenebrae service is people reading Scripture, it's dark, and after the Scripture is read someone hits a metal piece that sounds like the nails being struck as they are driven into Jesus' hands and feet. Very moving time.

Saturday morning - we got up and got dressed and headed over to church for the Easter Egg hunt. Leah did fairly well, but wanted to socialize more than hunt eggs. I can't imagine where she gets that from. She won 2 prize eggs and shared one with a younger friend. She got a lamb that plays "Jesus Loves Me." I love it myself. That afternoon, we started cooking. I sliced the ham (more on that later) and sprinkled brown sugar on it and let it sit. We made a new recipe with the potatoes instead of having mashed potatoes as usual. I used rosemary, chili powder, paprika, salt, pepper, onion powder, oregano, and Italian seasoning. Basically I used whatever spice I could think of that I had LOL. I put some vegetable oil in the bowl and mixed it all around. John peeled the potatoes and I diced them up. Mixed them all together with the oil and such and baked them. Yum! They turned out better than I expected.

Saturday night, I "helped" the Easter Bunny put Leah's basket together. She got a bunny, 2 books "Jonah and the Whale" and "Joseph and the Coat of Many Colors", and a white chocolate Cross. Sunday morning, John had to be at the 8:00 a.m. service to sing (Good job honey!) and so he went alone. He came back and we were ready to go to Sunday School. My mom was off work so she got to go too. We went to SS then to church and had a great service. We are so blessed with the Pastors we have and the church family, too.

We had lunch with my mom, Hubs' mom, dad, and brother, and Ma. We had a good time and after we all ate and got really sleepy, his family left and the rest of us took a nap. Naps are good.

Now, more on the ham. I am a HUGE fan of Smithfield hams. No, not just because Paula Deen is the celebrity endorsement for them (but that helps! LOL). They just have a better flavor than any of the others that I have had. Best part - they are pretty inexpensive. A 10 lb ham was $15. Spiral sliced, bone in....yum!

I hope everyone had a blessed Easter. I'm going to try to add pictures to the next blog post. We'll see how that goes.