Ch-ch-ch-changes....

As you can probably tell by now, the blog has a new look. I needed a new look for spring. I found this new place called Shabby Blogs. I found it on another blog I was reading. They have really cute stuff! And it's F-R-E-E! Gotta love free! I tried out a few new looks before I chose this one. Hope you like it...and if you don't...well, :oP

It's been cool the past few days...I got used to the 80+ degree weather so this is not a nice change. It is really nice with the sunshine though. I love riding with the windows down....until a bug flies in the window then I'm out!

I can't wait until Saturday! My mom, sister, & I are going to First Baptist to watch Beth Moore's simulcast from Atlanta. The topic? "So Long Insecurity....you've been a bad friend" YES!! I so need that. I am terribly insecure. I may not show it all the time (I've been told I put on a good front), but I am a constant worrier about stuff. I have the need to fit in (don't we all?) but I won't put myself out there most of the time because I will talk myself down. Most of the time I don't feel like I belong and so that stops me from doing things that sometimes I really, really want to do. You know....I'm 33 years old. If I want to do something, I should be able to right? RIGHT? Nope, not me.

I'm sure someone out there can identify. I always talk myself out of stuff "you aren't thin enough...you don't have enough money...you don't have your own house....you aren't close enough to God...you don't dress well enough....and it goes on and on and on." I'd like to say that I've created these situations in my head and that they don't really exist. Probably the one that is truly "me created" is the one about God. No, no one has come straight out and said any of those things to me. If they did, I probably would never go out of the house again.

I know that not everyone is like me...I'm a bit of an odd duck. One of my spiritual gifts is hospitality. I want to make sure everyone feels welcome and at ease. I think that's part spiritual gift and part just being Southern (ha!). I, however, do not always feel welcome. Even with people that I have been around for years...I feel like the odd man out. Maybe I need to step out of my box more...maybe I need to put myself out there more. To be honest, I will only go so far before my feelings get hurt and I shrink back to my little corner of the world.

Come on...I know I'm not the only one. *crickets chirping* Uh....hello?