So much to say...

I've got TONS of stuff on my mind tonight.  Guess it's as good a time as any to blog ;)

Mother's Day:   I am very thankful for my daughter, my mother, and my mother-in-law, but this year is different because Ma won't be here with us.  Honestly, I kinda wish we could just skip it this year.  My heart's just not in it.  On a similar note -  I have Leah and I am extremely thankful, but my heart aches for those angel mommies, those waiting on adoptions to go through, or those just waiting on God's timing to make them mothers.  I have been on the waiting end of it...it SUCKS.  Just know that you are not alone and I wish I could hug each of you.  I know there's a plan out there for each of you, just no one knows what it is. 

Career stuff:  You know...I am...um....er....29ish (ha!) and I have no idea what I want to do career wise.  I love my job now.  I've been at the same job for 12 1/2 years.  My boss is WONDERFUL, but I know that one day there will come a day where I will have to find another job.  I've thought about a few different things: being an appraiser (I have had my trainee's license since 2007 and it was going pretty well until the economy flopped so I let it lapse this last go round....I just don't have the oomph for it anymore), Nursing (it takes a VERY special person to be a nurse and I am just not that person),  having my own business (umm...startup capital anyone?), HR (you usually have to have a Bachelor's which I don't have), etc.  The list kinda goes on but nothing screams at me YES!! THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO DO!  I'm so frustrated and I know that things will come around, but as a paycheck-to-paycheck family - I have to have some form of income.  Bottom line.

Me:  I don't even know where to begin with this one.  I am so blah about everything (except Leah).  Nothing excites me...nothing really wow's me.  I was talking to my bestie's the other day and told them both - I have no passion for anything.  I just go through the motions (Matthew West's song just popped in my head) of day-to-day stuff.  I'm sick of my weight but don't have the motiviation to do something about it.  I'm sick of looking frumpy but don't get up 10 minutes earlier to do my hair/makeup.  You know, I guess I just kinda think "what's the point".  That's an awful way to look at things, but this is my blog and I'm trying to be honest.  I'm reading all these other weight loss blogs where these ladies have lost a significant amount of weight. They talk about how good they feel, how their clothes fit, and just how everything is changing for them.  I read them and I'm amazed.  I'm so jealous (Yes, Jealous) of how well they've done...the clothes they are in, etc....but yet I don't do anything about it.  I'm hoping that changes.  I pray that changes.

Misc:  You know, there are sometimes that you just don't know quite what to say because you don't want to sound psycho.  I have a horrible tendency to care about whoever.  Seriously, if you were a part of my life for any amount of time...well, I still care.  No, I'm not gonna go all psycho on you or anything, but know for the most part you have at least one person rooting for you.

I guess that's it, unless I decide to lay somemore out there.
~Shelly