Quirky Little Me...

I was reading Beth Moore's blog and she had a fun post about 10 quirky things about her. So, here are my 10 quirky things.

1. I absolutely can not stand the thought of someone being upset with me. I may not have done anything, but if I have an inkling that something is off it bothers me to the very core.

2. I have an ink pen addiction. It used to be Bridal Magazines. Seriously. I was like 12 and had a stack of magazines in the bottom of my closet. I planned my wedding 1,000,000 times over before I ever met John. My actual wedding was no where near as extravagant as my dream weddings were but it was awesome in the same right.

3. I have an uncanny knack of remembering names and if I can't remember one - I think about it until I do....most of the time I will come up with it.

4. I wonder sometimes if I'm a bit OCD about some things. Especially at work.

5. I don't throw away pictures. Yes, I still have pictures of ex-boyfriends and people that I'm not really friends with anymore. I just cannot throw it away. Strange I know.

6. Even though I am domestically challenged, I will get a cleaning buzz every once in a while. Then, look out!

7. I like the smell of Windex and Clorox wipes.

8. The shirts in my closet are mainly blue and pink (or some shade there-in). Sad. lol

9. I love making new friends. LOVE IT! The thing is (and I'm like my mom in this regard) if I meet you and don't like you for whatever reason, chances are that's not going to change. Sometimes it does....but not usually.

10. I don't like medicine....I will take it if I have to. I'm the type that will let a headache wear off instead of taking something for it. Strange I know.

I have a bunch more little crazy quirks that make me "me" but I'll save those for another day.

Afraid to Dream....

I was watching "The Biggest Loser" last week and O'Neal said something about being afraid to dream. I've been thinking about that statement ever since then. I am afraid to dream. I am afraid of getting my hopes up and dreaming about what "could be". Now, my dream sequence heads down the road of being smaller....thinner...healthier.

It's possible - somewhere down the road. Between 2004 & 2005, I lost nearly 75 lbs. with Weight Watchers. I felt better about myself and was actually proud of what I had accomplished. It wasn't easy, but I did it. I got pregnant in September of 2005. I miscarried. After that happened I ate everything that was put in front of me. I didn't care. I wanted to fill that void with something. Needless to say, the food didn't help heal me. I gained everything back plus a few.

I've tried since then to lose. I did lose a few before I got pregnant with Leah. I only gained 12 lbs with her. I had an absolutely wonderful pregnancy with her. No gestational diabetes, no pre-eclampsia or pregnancy induced hypertension. I lost about 30 lbs during her first month. I soon returned to my junk eating and there came the weight. Ugh.

So, here we are again. Thinking I am going to do something about this weight. Well, I have another incentive. I don't have a gallbladder anymore. It came out on Friday. Hopefully, this will help kickstart my healthier eating and more active lifestyle (if the weather could cooperate for walks). I'm ready. I want to be hot. I don't have to be any particular size, I just want to feel comfortable in whatever size that may be. -- BUT IT's NOT THIS SIZE!--

I wonder....

If I ever cross your mind....It's a quarter after one...


I'm not going to break into Lady Antebellum here. I'll save my screechi...er...singing :D for myself. I haven't told you about my musical tastes have I? Sit back - grab a drink - and read. I love music. I'm not musically inclined in any sense of the word, but music is a HUGE part of who I am. Lady Gaga, Bee Gees, Cher, Theory of a Deadman, Tonic, 3EB, Lady A, Josh Turner, Kid Rock, Saliva, Mercy Me, Casting Crowns, Metallica, Timbaland, Rob Thomas, Journey, Foreigner... That just barely scratches the surface of my listening habits. I can listen to just about anything. Oh! I like my music loud, too. Especially, if it's fast, has a good beat, etc. You hear that strange noise coming from behind you - yep, it's probably me. I don't do it when Leah's in the car though. She loves music, too. She gets it from her Moma!

My mind is going in so many different directions. I'm trying to figure out if and when I want to make a job change. The thought scares me senseless. I have been extremely spoiled in my current job. If I need time off, need to leave early, etc. it's not been a problem. I just know that I'm not going to have those same liberties when I go to work somewhere else. I know that part of me just needs to jump in with both feet and go for it. Time will tell I suppose.

I'm so tired of the news. It reminds me of that song from the 80s by Anne....something or other called "Good News". Couldn't we all use a little good news today? Everything on the news is so depressing. Politics, earthquakes, finances, YUCK! Throw in something good - i.e. how the local Boy Scout troop collected xxxx number of cans for the food pantry. Something. I guess that's why I keep the tv on something else besides 2,3,4, or 5 at 10 p.m. Life can make you crazy and depressed enough without the media telling you something else to make it worse.

Amish people. Hmm. You know their life doesn't sound half bad some days. Yes, I'm a little attached to my cell phone, my laptop, tv, blue jeans lol, so I don't know how long I would last. But to really be able to appreciate things again for what they are....that would be nice. You know how when you're a kid and you learn/discover something new and it's the greatest thing out there. We don't really get to experience that kind of joy as an adult. I think we've taken alot of things for granted. I guess that's where my girl comes in again. I get to experience things again through her eyes and watch her discover things. I have to say being a mom rocks.

Leftovers...

No, this isn't about our supper tonight. It's about the leftover thoughts I've had from the past few days.

February was a complete blur. Ma broke her hip February 4th. From then on my days consisted of: waking up, getting a shower, getting Leah up, feeding Leah, off to the sitter's, to work, off to pick up Leah, home for a few minutes, off to the hospital (and after Feb. 8th) to Manchester to see Ma, home, supper, laundry, pick up toys...whew. I think I'm still in recovery mode from that. On a side note- I busted my tail on some ice coming out of MHCC (rehab for Ma) the 2nd day she was there. It's been 3 weeks and it still hurts. Maybe this would be a good excuse for a massage...hmm....

I was watching High School Reunion in between loading/unloading the washer and dryer on Saturday. I wouldn't say it's all that interesting but it can be humorous at times. One of the commercials was for "First Love, Second Chance"....wow. That's an interesting concept for a tv show. I am good friends with my first love. Not everyone can say that and even more people don't want that at all. He was my first love...there's always gonna be a spot in my heart for him. Just being honest.

My girl is so funny. She's 16 months old now. Her newest discovery is the potty...her newest phrase? "I gahha pee" (I gotta pee). We bought her a potty chair. :( She hasn't used it yet, but I know it's coming. She knows what happens when you go to the bathroom. I'm so not ready for this yet. She's my baby ...possibly my only child...*sigh* I know she has to grow up. I just wish she would slow down growing up just a little bit. Time is passing way too quickly.

One last thing......................."milka-what?"

Domestically Challenged Hot Mess

That's me in a nutshell. I am domestically challenged. I admit it. I don't like to clean but I will. The bedroom is....hmmm...organized clutter. I don't mind doing laundry...I just hate to have to fold it and put it up. There are 100 other things that I would rather be doing than cleaning. I'm not a good cook either. I can cook....just not very good mind you. Our menu pretty much stays the same. Mainly it's because I don't like to clean up. We don't have a dishwasher so you know what that means - yep, handwashing city. *sigh* Maybe one day....

I'm on a self-discovery mission. I'm trying to figure out what I want to do. My mom wants me to take an EMT course with her in the fall. I just don't see me doing EMT stuff. I'm considering nursing school in the spring or fall of 2011. I can be an LPN in 16 months. I don't think I'd want to stop there though. I really think I would want to get an RN. Hubs asked me earlier if I thought I could give IV's and draw blood. I think I could.

Let's see what else.....Oh! My blog address twisted tennessee girl. Well, I'm not conventional in my way of thinking sometimes. I am a little twisted. Plus, there was this button that I saw that said "I'm not evil...I'm good with a twist". I think that kinda describes me. Plus, I'm from Tennessee. Go Vols! Oh, by the way, I will root for Alabama, too. Roll Tide! I look better in crimson than I do orange. Just sayin'.

Craptastic

I don't even know where I first heard that word...maybe I made it up. I really couldn't tell you. Oh well. That just kinda describes Sunday. I totally forgot about working childcare Sunday morning. Just totally flaked on that one. Then, two men that I used to go to church with as a kid died yesterday....one hit me worse than the other because I grew up next door to him and his wife. I have lots of childhood memories....and most include them. His wife passed away a few years ago. It's inevitable I know. Two things are for sure death and taxes. It still sucks though.

RIP Jim & Lillard :o(

I love (ugh...hubs just hit me in the arm for the 3rd time - he's asleep - doesn't even realize he did it but it totally throws my thought train off track....I wonder if I punch him in the nose and pretend to be asleep if it will work....ok...back on track now) where was I? Oh yeah. I love facebook....it has reconnected me with people that I never thought I would talk to again. I mean these are the never in a million, don't know where they live, don't know if they remember me people. Anyway, they are all faces from the past. Isn't it strange that someone you haven't talked to in say 10 years, 20 years, etc. and you can talk to and it's like no time has passed at all? I LOVE THAT! I mean situations are different now than they were then, but it's nice to know that you do have people you can share that with.

I have a terrible habit of connecting songs to people.

• For example: Richard Marx's "Hold on to the Nights" Memories from a Middle School Dance - you know who you are so there's no need to name you here.
• Richard Marx's "Right Here Waiting" & Motley Crue's "Home Sweet Home" & "Without You" - First boyfriend...long distance deal.
• Journey's "Open Arms" - I listened to it every time I talked to ___ on the phone.

Richard Marx was the bomb when I was growing up. That hair...that voice...*sigh* Don't laugh - you know you thought it too. Do any of you do that or am I just crazy? Wait. Don't answer the last part of that question.

I was sitting here earlier thinking about changes I want to make to me. You know, you can kinda feel craptastic after thinking about it. Then what to my sleepy eyes do appear? A tv program about how they choose the cover for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Are you KIDDING me? Ugh - that's all I need. I rectified that situation really quick and turned it to Food Network. Shut up.

Crazy weather...

I'm kinda all over the place in my thoughts so please forgive me :)

It snowed last night. SNOW. It's April! The week before Easter! Craziness!

I just got finished reading Angie Smith's blog for today. Angie's husband, Todd, is in the Christian group Selah. Today, April 7, 2009 is her youngest daughter, Audrey's first birthday but she isn't here to celebrate. She is celebrating with God today. I read and cried...luckily, my boss is gone to do some errands. I started reading her blog last year when I was pregnant with Leah. I don't even remember where I found it. I have become a blog reader (too many blogs!) since and I visit every one of them at least once a day. My heart just breaks for her...I just want to run home and grab Leah and not let go thanking God the whole time for her. My thoughts and prayers are with Todd and Angie and their families today. Happy 1st Birthday Audrey!

Easter week - Holy Week....can you imagine? I was just sitting here thinking about what Jesus might have been doing all those many years ago knowing the path that was laid before Him. I know we have a glimpse of what happened that week before Judas turned his back on Jesus. But there is so much more! I have so many questions...I hope God has like a video place in heaven where we can see all this stuff that happened. I know we are going to be praising like never before...I guess our human interest won't matter then. I still think it would be neat though. I have watched The Passion of the Christ one time. I can't bear to watch it anymore (maybe one day). When we were watching it the first time, I was there. Ok...Ok...I know I wasn't there...but I was. I felt like I was watching it all happen in front of me - like I was a witness to the beating and the humiliation they laid upon Jesus. Whew...that was a rough one.

I am so so so thankful for what He did for us. He didn't have to. He could have said "nope, I'm outtie" (Yeah I know He wouldn't have phrased it that way) but He didn't. He took that beating, that weight of sin, the whole shabang for us - for me, for my husband, for my daughter, for my other children (who will be here one day God willing), for my friends, family, neighbors, online friends, and the list goes on and on. He did this for everyone! I pray that one day everyone will know Jesus. He's pretty awesome!

Ok. I'm blank now. LOL! I guess on to prayers:

• PRAY that Angie and Todd have peace that passes all understanding today as they remember their precious girl.
• PRAY that Stellan's (http://www.mycharmingkids.net/) new cardiologist will have some answers. Stellan has SVT - superventricular tachocardia. His heart beats in excess of 200 beats per minute sometimes. He is ONE DAY older than Leah.
• PRAY for the people of Italy and the devastation of the earthquake.
• PRAY for the Rudolph and Nelson families (local families). The Rudolph's lost a daughter - 16 years old and their only child. The Nelson family's 17 year old son was behind the wheel of the other car and he is in critical care at Vanderbilt. Pray for him emotionally as well as physically.
• PRAY for our country, our leaders, our nation and our world. Pray that God's will overshadows the wills/wants of men. It's all about HIM after all!

Hope you all have a blessed day....it started snowing again a little while ago. Huge flakes! It's all over for now though.

~Shel